Timing is everything. You can be prepared to meet the right person at the right place but if you’re there during the wrong time, you’ll never meet them.
This, amongst a jumble of other things, is one of the biggest concerns I have diving into the performing arts industry.
Some of you may know me. Very well. But most, don’t really know me at all. After a long deliberation, I have decided that the time has come and I am now ready to tell my story.
Taking the first step is always the hardest. Be it quitting a bad habit, learning a new skill, or doing something as crazy as bearing your heart and soul to the public. It takes a lot of courage to do all these things but once that first step is taken and the waters are tested, and once momentum is built, the progress is exponential. It’s like pushing a rock down a hill. The initial push takes strength and determination. Once the hardest part is over (the pushing—just in case you’re not following me), the further down the rock rolls, the faster it goes.
You may wonder why I’m doing this. Deciding to not only re-enter the blogosphere once again, but to truly take the guts to write as honestly and authentically as possible. Why?
Well, here’s the thing. Of all the years I have blogged in the past, I have always been extremely careful with the information I provided in a public space. You can never be too wary after all, right?
My life shown to the public back then and even now seems pretty shallow, I know. Of course, the tendency and clearly the right thing to do for a public figure is to always put their best self forward. After all, it is human nature to want to make a difference. And how can you make a difference (a good one) if you aren’t somebody that people can look up to? I’ll go deeper into this some other time.
Back to baring it all. Or at least, the attempt to. Let’s just say I was afraid. Afraid to be judged for the opinions that I held, the beliefs that I stood for, and for the person that I am. I don’t think I’m a bad person. I know I’m not perfect but I do try to be the best person that I can be. I know it sounds cliché and I’ve said it more than once and will probably say it again but what truly gives me intrinsic satisfaction in life is to be able to make a difference.
I identified this only a year ago when I decided that I don’t only want to make a difference by the little interactions I make with friends, families, acquaintances or even strangers on a daily basis, but I want to leave a mark, an imprint and truly change people’s lives for the better on a much, much bigger scale.
Undoubtedly, there are plenty of venues to achieve this goal. But one thing I have learnt throughout my 25 years living here on this extraordinarily convoluted world is, it is very difficult to achieve something amazing if you do not truly live and breathe the process of getting there. And believe me when I say…
So for those who know me, they know how long-winded I am and how I philosophical I can get. Sometimes, I amaze myself at how much of an old soul I can be yet I still take joy doing some seriously retarded and child-like things. It’s important to have fun every once in a while!
Alright, let’s not get carried away as I often do. The whole point for this first post to a new beginning of my new lifestyle blog is to share the reasons why I am taking this on:
I always love writing and I have explored a few different methods of reaching out to people.
I started off with a less intimate approach of blogging and only released face value content during my early years of MissWishful.Com.
Then, I attempted “The Book of Mariana” which was about real life stories (down to the tiniest details, mind) but with fictional characters as to keep the privacy of the real parties involved.
“The Book of Mariana” was a fun project for me but it was not sustainable with the schedule that I have. I am constantly on the go and my schedule is all over the place. Writing fiction with fact incorporated in takes more time than you know. From character building, plot summarizing, and keeping it interesting, well, that takes a lot of time that I do not have. Writers would know. Fictional writing takes planning. Writing good content in itself takes inspiration. Planning and gaining inspiration takes time. And I think I have stressed enough how little of that I have. Or at least, willing to spend on that project.
However, writing my thoughts and feelings? Now, that’s an easier task to handle. What more writing my thoughts and feelings and attempting to put in as little filter as possible. All I have to do is type and type and type whatever is in my head! And look what has happened. I am currently sitting on my flight from Malaysia to Sydney, and with only a couple hours in, I have already written this catastrophe of words.
Anyway, the main reason here is to challenge myself. I always love a good challenge… within my current means. So here I am, challenging myself to be as real as possible, to put my honest and best self forward, and to show the world that there is more than meets the eye.
Commemoration. This space right here is to relieve the urban disease of constant commemoration of eventful moments… Plus, Twitter was seriously not made for me. A 140-character limit? Pssh. At this point, pre-proof-reading and pre-editing this post, I have written a total of 1700 words. Not characters…….. WORDS.
Just like photographs, my ink spills of the heart are the magic that can turn moments into eternity.
Not everyone examines and realize the reasons why they have the need to write and share their feelings, thoughts, opinions, ideas or beliefs via social media. I believe that it is not only to reach out to people to gain some form of attention (admit it, those of you who do this are attention seekers to a certain extent—it really isn’t a bad thing. It only becomes a bad thing depending on the methods you use to gain attention) but also to immortalize oneself in some form. When you’re physically gone from this earth, memories of you linger on in the things you leave behind. The magic of the Internet is that the memories you leave behind be it in photographs or words stay imprinted forever…. Or until the Internet disappears.
Making people happy makes me happy. Sparking interest in others gives me a reason to write. If my writing can teach people a thing or two, precipitate interest, stimulate humor or touch someone’s heart… I have done my part.
I am fairly confident that I can teach people a thing or two. Knowledge can be gained as easily as you will it to. I would like to think I am pretty resourceful and I also love to share and for some reason, I have ample amount of patience when it comes to teaching. And as you can tell, I am not very humble either. Yup, I realize my strengths and weaknesses with a decent amount of clarity and I am not afraid to voice it out. I learnt to practice this through my time in the Miss Universe Malaysia 2013 pageant. Now, that’s a topic for another day.
Precipitating interest and stimulating humor? These I am probably not so good at. I don’t particularly think I am an incredibly interesting person nor am I super funny. Okay, so I’m trying to be modest here. Did it work? Probably not. Could probably see right through me, right? Yup. I’m clearly not so good at this whole modesty thing. Anyway, honestly though, every single one of us is probably pretty darn interesting. Just not everyone is good at portraying his or her specialness.
As for touching someone’s heart… well, being the emotionally sensitive person that I am, I can relate to people very easily. I don’t think I have this in the bag but I believe that some day, I can truly touch someone’s heart through my music and lyrics. Again, I’ll want to dive into this subject but at another time.
So there you have it. My long-winded reasons to starting my lifestyle blog. I would like to assure you that I will likely not be writing such long posts but I would be lying if I said so…
Here’s to new beginnings.