I am not perfect nor am I a perfectionist. There’s a difference between striving to be perfect and striving to be great. I do not strive to be perfect. I prefer to work towards the latter.
Today’s topic on Dr. Love is one that I find essential to write about. A couple of reasons why I feel this urge to write about this is:
- Before I begin to address other issues pertaining to love and relationships, I believe it is highly important to know where YOU stand in YOUR life based on YOUR perspective. In other words, as cliché (or narcissistic) as it may sound, it is very important to love yourself first before you can even begin to share love to others
- The urban world today is so obsessed in striving for perfection and beauty that they have lost sight in what makes things beautiful. Everyone seems to think perfection and beauty come hand in hand and too few people recognize that it’s the imperfections that make things beautiful
The urban world is so obsessed in striving for perfection and their idea of beauty that they would go great lengths and questionable sacrifices to achieve it. For instance—the still very controversial subject—plastic surgery. Although, the beauty industry prefer to use the glorified term, ‘aesthetic enhancements’. Having gone through a pageant, I was always asked about my view regarding plastic surgery. My answer was always the same and always politically correct, “If it makes one happy, then who am I to stand in between one’s happiness. But personally, I wouldn’t do it.” Hence, if aesthetically enhancing your physically appearance is what makes you happy, then by all means, no one really has the right to stop you. For me though, why I do not opt for this method is not because I think I’m already perfect (I’m not that thick….). On the contrary, I mean, you can see for yourself. I am FAR from perfect.
I have a weird hairline… the widow’s peak, they call it.
My nose is tiny and without the right lighting or make-up shading, people call it flat. During my time at Miss Universe Malaysia, I was encouraged by the pageant committee to heighten the bridge of my nose via fillers.
I have a goofy smile.
I was born with outrageously crooked and huge teeth. But thanks to my removable bracers treatment, I only have huge teeth now.
I have ears the size of Dumbo’s.
My lips are too thin.
My hands look like they belong to a scrawny man. Bony and veiny… far from the dainty hands my mother and older sister were blessed with.
My toes are like… toe-fingers because they are so long. For better to write with!
And the list goes on and on…
I remember a time when I almost succumbed to plastic surgery because I was overly conscious of my big, sticky-out ears. I’m glad I didn’t though because in retrospect, if I did act upon it, where will it end? It really won’t.
I would’ve just scratched an itch but more itches would be bound to follow. It’s like scratching an insect bite or allergic rash. You’ll feel that pleasure and comfort for the 5 seconds you are scratching but eventually, the itch will spread and it’ll only get worse. Basically, I’ll start obsessing over other imperfections and try to fix those too.
So the repercussions can truly be severe. This is specifically on plastic surgery. People like to argue by comparing plastic surgery to wearing braces and/or the use of beauty products such as facial make-up and hair products. While I would agree that wearing braces and putting on make-up is indeed aesthetic enhancement, the side effects are far less detrimental than plastic surgery.
Think about it…
The side effects of wearing braces are time and money and a little bit of pain or discomfort but it brings about a better smile and a serious confidence boost.
The side effects of putting on make-up are also time and money and perhaps some discomfort (depending on how thick your make-up is… and boy do I hate falsies!) but it too brings about some serious confidence boost and at most, if you’re using crappy products, a bad skin reaction.
Now, the side effects of plastic surgery can be truly disastrous depending on the type of surgery. I’ve heard so many horror stories and it just amazes me how people who are aware of the negative side effects of such procedures can still proceed with it. I mean, if you’re thinking of rhinoplasty, any little awkward nudge on your nose and you’re back at your doctor’s! Eventually, you’ll just end up like this version of MJ…
This is just ONE example. There are other procedures such as creating double eye-lids or cutting your eyes to be bigger (I just learned this procedure is called blepharoplasty and boy does it look like a nasty procedure)… side effects could possibly be… I was just going to give one example but after googling more about it, I decided to just share what I found:
Then, there’s the latest miracle aesthetic enhancement; fillers. The folks in the beauty industry are raving on and on about how amazing and natural fillers are and how they will leave no side effects and allegedly “naturally absorb into your skin and eventually, naturally fade away”.
However, I actually heard that fillers would leave gaps in wherever the heck you inject them in. And there is no sure way of assuring that the next injection of fillers will fill the gaps that were previously filled before. So if you keep injecting and eventually stop injecting, the focused area will essentially be like a deflated balloon… now, how scary is that?!
This simply affirms the popular “too good to be true” phrase. And also my theory on how technology that hasn’t been around for a good 10 years or more is hard to be trusted from lack of historical evidence. Just look at aged celebrities who have underwent plastic surgery…
Ultimately, you simply cannot compare wearing braces or putting on make-up to plastic surgery!
Other than the health concern of plastic surgery, there’s also the philosophical concern to consider.
If you were truly appalling to look at, I would somehow understand it more if you feel the need to undergo such measures to make it easier to live with yourself. However, I simply don’t get those who are already better-looking than the average person (but really, beauty is so subjective… I won’t go there right now) but still feel the need to go through a massive transformation. They are willing to sacrifice their previous physical identities to live in a shell they’ve created on their own rather than the one God has created for them.
In my opinion, it’s a cop out.
I just don’t understand why people cannot just work on things they can improve on without having to suffer detrimental side effects… like their personality, for instance. Or make-up skills :p
But seriously, character speaks volumes! Although you may not be the most aesthetically beautiful creature on earth, your character can make you shine in ways your physicality cannot.
Having said that, I am not in any way implying that every single person who has aesthetically improved his or her image via plastic surgery has no personality or have bad character. In fact, I know many physically beautiful individuals who have gone through plastic surgery who have great character. And conversely, I know people who are physically unattractive with matching personalities (really bad combination I know… but what can you do?).
Regardless of whether you are physically attractive or not, you can have no personality or a great personality. That’s not my point.
What I’m really getting at is that I really think it is important to be properly informed of what you are getting yourself into before you get into it. Understand the repercussions of your choices and your actions. Be aware of the alternatives.
If you are at the stage where you doubt your physical appearance, I want you to truly understand that physical appearance is not the only thing that deems you beautiful. Your heart, your personality, your intrinsic value will speak volumes over your physical attributes.
It boils down to my first point… before anyone else believes you are beautiful, YOU need to believe it first.
I’m sorry if I have offended those who have underwent plastic surgery and perhaps you have proper legitimate reasons for doing so (or not… you just want to look super gorgeous), I did not mean to.
My main point in all of this is to come to peace with your imperfections. To understand and to accept that being imperfect is okay. The fact that being real is more important and more fulfilling than being perfect.
There truly is beauty in everything. Beauty is so subjective so don’t let the world shape how and what you find to be truly beautiful. Take your stand and take it with confidence! As long as you’re not hurting anyone, especially yourself, do what you want or need to do to make yourself feel beautiful.
And always remember…
“We were made to be real… not perfect.”