“Hot Crazy Matrix” and Natalia’s “Age Vs. Asset Value Theorem”  

Recently, a pretty viral video on YouTube came to my attention. It is called the “Hot Crazy Matrix”.

For those living under a rock (don’t be ashamed, some days you might find me under there as well), check out the extremely illuminating video below:

The Hot Crazy Matrix

Watch until the very end because although most of this video is predominantly for men’s guide to women, they did leave a few seconds just for us ladies!

My thoughts on the Hot Crazy Matrix by Dana Mclendon:

  • I couldn’t help but laugh a little when “Tiffany” was automatically shoved under the same category as redheads, strippers (all them crazy gals)… only because the Tiffanys I know ARE pretty wonky. But then again, there are a ton of loonie ladies with other names. And I’m sure not ALL Tiffanys are crazy… just most of them :p
  • For the men out there, its important to note that this video is could honestly be a decent guide to dating women. So if you’re gonna use it, you gotta use it right. You can’t just plant the girl your dating somewhere on the chart and assume she’ll stay there forever… No, Dana Mclendon specifically stated that you had to mark where your girl stands on the chart over time and over distinctive incidents that occur to get solid, solid data.
  • I, however, wouldn’t take this graph too seriously, so ladies, please don’t! It’s just for pokes and if you DO take this seriously… then you know where on the graph you’ll fall under ;p

Well, this graph inspired me to showcase MY little theorem that I created back in my University days when I was a major statistics geek.


Age Vs. Asset Value Theorem

So pretty simple, here’s how the chart looks like:



Age Vs. Asset Value.

So according to my 20-something years of life and love experience, your age versus your asset value is dependent on your gender.

Just a quick disclaimer (just in case), this theorem is basically a generalisation and a widespread ideas of life and relationships. It doesn’t apply to everyone. Although I’d like to think it applies to almost everyone 😉

Anyway, as I was saying, depending on whether you’re male or female, your flow chart is significantly different!

Here’s what it looks like for women…


Ready for the hard truth, ladies? As you can tell, since this is MY theorem, and it does seem like I’m really not on the side of my gender at all, that really isn’t the case. It’s no secret that I am far from being a feminist… I’m a realist. So let’s be realistic here. I’m not hating on my gals… I’m just being realistic is all.

Women’s asset value peaks at ages 25-30. Here’s why I think so.

Firstly, any women who hasn’t graduated yet are just girls. Hence, easily deemed immature and mentally unstable (partially crazy, yes). Just deemed so. Don’t get defensive my university students. Some of you may be pretty mature but until you take the full responsibility of being an adult and earning money and paying your bills, your outlook on life can still be pretty variable.

Now, if you graduate at age 21-23, then well, you still need a couple of years to find the career that suits you best. That’s just realistic leniency you’re giving yourself. Some people need more time, some people less. Basically, it’s not until you’re past 25 where you’re deemed to know pretty much which direction you’d like to take in life hence conceived to be more stable emotionally and overall as an individual.

It is also during this time (25-30), where you tend to look your best. You still have your youth, however, you have gained enough skills at this point in making yourself look desirable (make-up skills, hair skills, dressing-up skills etc etc). So our peak is at 25-30. In a nutshell, at this age, you’re old enough for men to take you seriously, but not too old that you may seem desperate to settle down. So you still have that, “hard-to-get” trait that men instinctively fall for.

Now as you near 30 or well… past the age of 30… not only do men begin to assume that you want to settle down hence giving too much pressure to men the same age because all they can think about is that they are going to be the one you would want to marry if you do get into a serious relationship. Now, most men at that age (30) are probably still climbing the success ladder and may not be ready for marriage. Keyword: MOST. It’s no surprise that men take longer to mature which means, they also take longer to find their direction hence not being where they really want to be at the general age most women want to settle down.

Also, as women past the age of 30, gravity takes its toll on our semi-youthful bodies. Hence, the gradual decline of asset value as age increases. Like it or not, men are very visual creatures. And we simply cannot fight time!

I am grateful to be Asian because our awesome genes keep us looking pretty young for an extended period of time (assuming we make the effort to take care of ourselves).

And if you were to argue that you gain more success in your career and wealth (I don’t know why but I keep assuming “you” are a woman… oh, well), and due to that, your asset value should increase– you are wrong. Most men are intimidated by overly successful women… it’s okay if they are successful and you are successful but THEY have to be MORE successful than you. Men are not sensitive creatures because they channeled all their sensitivity to their damn egos.

So hope that explains clearly enough why for women on the Age Vs. Asset Value Theorem graph, it is a bell curve.

Now for the men….


I’m just assuming that when men hit past 30, they’ve pretty much hit their peak. And yes, they do continue to peak… but they will never increase until much, much, much later in life.

This is why. As men age, well, guess what, not everyone is George Clooney, okay? You guys get uglier too. Wrinkly… balder… fatter and well, gravity is gonna be a bitch to you too!

The upside is, as you age and climb that career ladder, you also accumulate wealth. And guess what, women love money & success in men. Stop being so narrow-minded and assuming all women who like wealthy, successful men are gold-diggers. Let’s face it, nobody wants to live like a pauper. And of course women also look for intelligent, driven, loyal, and a guy with a good sense of humour. But a man with intelligence should generally come with a brain good enough to be successful in his career, right? Same goes for a man who is driven. Loyal and a good sense of humour are just MY must-haves but who wouldn’t want those traits in men? You’re only a true gold-digger if you threw out all those other characteristics you want in a men JUST because he has money.

Back to the graph…

Basically, as men age, they become more matured, wealthier, more successful therefore, more awesome. However, they also deteriorate in looks so it balances out hence forcing the flow chart to remain constant. 

That little peak at the end of the graph was graciously added by a friend of mine who I shall give credit to for adding to my awesome theorem. That little increase in peak are quite specifically for the gold-diggers out there actually! Essentially, men become even more of an asset when they are too old to perform coitus (hopefully… I’m sure there would be some gung-ho ones turning to pills… oh, dear) yet at the point in life where they’ve accumulated the maximum amount of wealth they could possibly accumulate hence you’ve found a companion who will give you a pretty good life and eventually pass on to you an even better one (materially) once they are gone (which will be pretty soon).

So initially, my flow chart did not have that little peak… but since the number of outwardly evident gold-diggers has increased and emerged over the years, it seemed appropriate to add it in.

Of course, these graphs and theories are all subjects to changes to human behaviour over time, general population numbers, type of race, culture and much, much more! 

But do feel free to comment or add your ideas or critique it (as some of you would so love to do!) as much as you like 😀 Or if you have YOUR own relationship theorem, feel free to share it! 

Hope nobody gets offended about my theorem or even The Hot Crazy Matrix… because if you do, you need to loosen up a little! Life’s too short to be too serious 😉

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