JOURNAL

So… 2020 was a surprise innit. The irony of Vision 20/20 as a symbol of perfection is laughable… or cry-able depending on your current mental state. Took a pandemic (and 50 days into quarantine) for me to get back into journalling though. Silver linings, I guess? Suffice to say, a whole lot of us had great plans for 2020 but God decided to shut that idea down real fast. I wish I logged something into my journal in 2019 but I totally skipped a year of journalling so now, I can’t look back at my 2019 wrap up journalling and can’t laugh at myself for being so damn optimistic. In retrospect, I do recall being hella optimistic in 2019. I was on a truly rewarding climb. I made some serious progress last year that kept me so busy that I didn’t have time to catch my breath and log it down. A regrettable decision because I always believe in stopping and smelling the flowers every so often to make sure you keep your mental health in check at all times. Speaking of the climb, I want to backtrack to 2018 where I last logged into my journal: “#21 Resolutions: Recipe…

I really need to kick the 1 year 1 log habit of journaling or I’m going to miss the best bits! And by best bits, I do mean the little things that matter more than we think. So for 2018, I’ve listed down quite a few resolutions (or goals as I prefer to call it) and divided them into four parts: Professional Goals Spiritual Goals Financial Goals Personal Goals While I will not be sharing each individual goal as it is quite a private matter (also I have pretty big dreams so some of them are quite laughable and I’d rather not have anyone laughing at how delusional my goals can be), I would like to share the precise % of hitting my goals in each respective components! Professionally, I have hit 66.67% of my targeted goals. The remainder of which I am confident I can achieve in a matter of time! Suffice to say, 2018 has been leaps and bounds of an improvement for my career and I honestly cannot be more excited for 2019!! That is to say, I am equally as nervous because we all know how volatile this industry is and as easily (although not really THAT…

I don’t enjoy being a preachy vegetarian but yet here I am, yikes! I started being vegetarian a year ago for health reasons. It was a conscious decision on my end to treat my body better. I’m by no means perfect and it’s still a struggle from time to time. I won’t want to delve much into persuading anyone of the benefits of being one or the science behind vegetarianism because Google and/or consulting a nutritionist can sort that out for anyone who is interested to really know. Instead, I do want to share my testimony on the difference this new diet has done for me: My digestive system is working beautifully now. I used to get frequent tummy aches and easily suffer from indigestion but since my diet change; not even once. And extremely healthy bowel movements now #TMI Metabolic rate has increased although I have strong reasons to believe this has a lot to do with the 10x Cryotherapy sessions I did at Rev Publika Malaysia and for this reason combined with my new diet, I’m burning calories so much easier & faster. Let’s just say burning veggies & carbs is a whole lot easier for the body than meat & dairy! No…

Wait, what? Did over a year just zoomed by or what! Squeezing in a quick roundup update so I can say I logged in at least once for 2017 😅 I meant to update my journals many times over but the amount of distractions that occurred were considerably high. I know that’s not enough to garner a reasonable excuse to have neglected updating “Ink Spills of My Heart” though… But! Better late than never, I’d like to think. Just going through my last post, I can still recall the feeling of excitement and nervousness prior to the release of my first single《FLY》. After the release, I truly meant to update my journals to record down the outcome but I kid you not, I still cannot believe that it has been a whole year since I released my first single here in Malaysia. Since I didn’t dare carry any expectations, I still don’t know how to feel about the response of the release. Truth be told, it wasn’t mind-blowing or ridiculously life-changing but boy, have I learnt a tremendous amount more about the industry I’ve delved into throughout this time. I can confidently say that I am super proud of the song and music…

10 months ago, I made the move to the charming city of Shanghai. It’s incredible how in this neither long nor short amount of time, I gained so much in terms of skills, experience, and knowledge I never expected I would ever garner in my lifetime. Shanghai is truly a city that has opened my eyes in so many ways. In these 10 months, my main focus was to work on my singing, dancing, and language skills and I can confidently say that I’ve achieved exactly all I was hoping for and more. There is definitely still room to grow and improve (there is always room to grow and improve… even as a professional!) but I am undoubtedly very happy and excited about my progress and current level of my skillsets at this point in time in this respect. Other than skill honing, during this time, I had the pleasure of working with incredible music producers to record 3 singles to be launched as an Extended Play (EP) in the time to come. Travelling back and forth Shanghai, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore was the common theme in the past year in preparation for my EP as one of my music…

So I’ve finally made the big leap. Back when I first signed with my current management, AM MEDIA, in August of 2014, my manager told me I wasn’t ready for the ocean just yet. Jamie advised me to test out the pond first (that’s Singapore) before jumping to swim with the big fishes (greater China). After a good year of preparation (blood, sweat & tears muddled in between), I am finally ready to take the giant leap into the next venture of my career. Moving my life once again to a new country is definitely a foreboding thought to say the least. You’d think I’d be used to it by now seeing as I’ve done this 3 times already! It’s true that with my experiences and a tremendous load of help from Jamie (my language comprehension is still a barrier especially when it comes to official documentation and all that boring stuff), the move was, for the most part, pretty smooth. Now it’s about making the adjustment. I am grateful that my work has brought me to– at the very least– the most advance and sort-of foreigner friendly city in China… Shanghai!! There’s still a lot of getting use to…

Just before the Chinese New Year, I did a fitness portfolio shoot featuring Adidas Singapore’s Stella McCartney line. I was more than satisfied with how the pictures turned out and I definitely felt a sense of achievement knowing that all the hard work I’ve put into my diet and fitness regime prior to the photo shoot were all worth it! Which brings me to a lot of my viewership enquiring how I got my abs! In a nutshell, it was just about the most grueling 2 weeks I had to go through. Let me tell you, it was no fun. However, to achieve that perfect set of abs and tip top physique is definitely doable. It all comes down to whether you want it permanently or you’re just looking for a temporary fix. A permanent solution requires tremendous effort in the beginning followed by incredibly great habits and a designated type of lifestyle. A temporary fix, however, is what I’ll share in more detail as that was what I had to resort to due to my hectic and irregular working and general life schedule. How To Achieve The Feminine Abs (FAbs)

It has been approximately 3 years since I have decided to embark on this whirlwind of an adventure… of realising my dreams… of overcoming my fears and wielding my bravery… but ultimately, of self-discovery… Yes, 3 years ago, was about the time I recognized my dreams. I am glad I didn’t take too much of my life to figure that out. At the age of 23 back then, I was neither too young to be naïve and have my head in the clouds, but I wasn’t too old to feel like I couldn’t still try (especially in this industry where age really does matter!). Hence, having recognised my dreams at that age was actually quite perfect for me. Not many people know the story of how I figured out that THIS is what I really want to do. It’s a simple story, really, but it is one that I will never forget. I remember that day as though it just happened yesterday. I was playing badminton (my first baddy game in yonks) in KL with my Canadian housemate. Now, how we got to this part of the world when we knew and met each other at the other side of…

For most of my life, every year has always been an eventful one. But I suppose that’s just how it is for someone with an adventurous heart and a good memory 😉 The year 2014 has been an interesting year for me. I wouldn’t say it was particularly amazing throughout but there were definitely moments of brilliance. Looking back at my timeline of “Ink Spills of My Heart” archived posts, I can’t believe only a year has passed! Was it just in February this year that I decided to take that leap of courage and went to Taiwan for 2 months just to properly hone my proficiency in the Mandarin language? And was it only 6 months ago that I met the most incredible individual that would change my life especially in terms of my career (will elaborate later below…)?? And only a few months ago that I kickstarted my career in Foxsports as a sports TV Presenter? It feels like eons ago that all these have happen! So, I looked back at my post on my 2014 resolutions and just as I predicted, on my very first sentence of, “I was never one who made New Year resolutions simply…

… where the bullsh*t is. Cow dung makes for great fertilizer, y’all!  People across work industries always tend to think the industry they are NOT in is somehow better, easier, funner or less complicated, less crazy, less ridiculous people.  However, a lot seem to agree, that the entertainment industry is super tough with a ton of crazy people and all that jazz. Here’s the reality: EVERY industry is tough. And every industry has crazy people. Every industry has their own set of politics.  As long as you want to be successful, it’s never going to come easy, doesn’t matter what sort of industry you’re in. Each and every one of them have their own set of battles. And you simply cannot justify that one is more difficult than the other. Or one has worser people that the other. Being thrown into several different types of industries before due to my work and life experiences; competitive sports… banking… service industry… and now the entertainment industry; I can safely surmise that every industry I’ve ever dabbled in had their set of challenges. What was a common denomination (aside from the fact that no matter what, success within your industry comes with hard work on your…

POST UPDATED!! Just last weekend, I did my first ever LIVE TV hosting on Fox Sports Asia covering the Singapore Grand Prix – Formula One Championship from Marina Bay Sands, Singapore. It was an exhilarating experience and I expected it to be super tough… I was not disappointed. Live TV hosting is definitely a different level because it not only gave you zero room for errors; it also truly pushes your multi-tasking capabilities to a whole new level. In that little tiny earpiece (that was strategically covered by my hair), I could not only hear my producer’s voice, but the voice of my 4 other co-hosts and 2 cameramen. That’s 7 voices in my head other than the other million voices of my own :p Safe to say, I think I did a decent enough job pulling through the entire event. I am definitely proud of myself for surviving through being thrown under the bus. I am grateful for the opportunity Fox Sports Asia and Marina Bay Sands have given to me to bump up my experience level in hosting at least a few notches up. So, I know a lot of people out there are probably wondering how I manage…

Recently, a pretty viral video on YouTube came to my attention. It is called the “Hot Crazy Matrix”. For those living under a rock (don’t be ashamed, some days you might find me under there as well), check out the extremely illuminating video below: The Hot Crazy Matrix Watch until the very end because although most of this video is predominantly for men’s guide to women, they did leave a few seconds just for us ladies! My thoughts on the Hot Crazy Matrix by Dana Mclendon: I couldn’t help but laugh a little when “Tiffany” was automatically shoved under the same category as redheads, strippers (all them crazy gals)… only because the Tiffanys I know ARE pretty wonky. But then again, there are a ton of loonie ladies with other names. And I’m sure not ALL Tiffanys are crazy… just most of them :p For the men out there, its important to note that this video is could honestly be a decent guide to dating women. So if you’re gonna use it, you gotta use it right. You can’t just plant the girl your dating somewhere on the chart and assume she’ll stay there forever… No, Dana Mclendon specifically stated that you…

It is official! I am now based in Singapore. Another big move for me. First, it was my move from Malaysia to Vancouver… I thought I was going to stay. But somehow, my calling  (or destiny as I would like to call it) had me moving back to KL. And then, there was my short stint to Taiwan. It was only 2 months but it was still a pretty thrilling experience. Now, I’ve officially packed my bags once again and moved to the beautiful land down under Malaysia 😉 It didn’t seem as big of a move to me perhaps because Singapore is so close to Malaysia. Also, it helped that I have a ton of friends already living in Singapore. So it wasn’t like I was starting afresh like Vancouver. That move was super tough because I started off being pretty flippin’ lonely for the first 3-4 months and I missed home like crazy. Except home back then was a 20-hour flight. Now, if I really did miss home, all I have to do is book my flight tomorrow and in a matter of hours, I’m home! I guess it isn’t as drastic. Oh, but it is. In terms…

Here I go again with my business terms but I can’t help it. Having a business finance background, everything I see, touched and get involve in gets somehow related to business. Extremely useful tool to have! So here I am, starting anew once again. Fresh starts are what we need when we’ve fallen so low. It’s the one hope we can count on… to give us the motivation we need to continue striving on. Starting all over again is refreshing but also tiring. The only thing I have going for me is that I’m not exactly starting from the bottom. At least I’ve gotten somewhere and although I’ve tripped and fallen a few stairs down, I’m back on my feet and ready to climb again. Being in this line of work (or really, any line of work) relationship building is incredibly important. That’s a given. What I find to be also very important is diversifying assets. Put these two together and you have a quite a handful to handle! So as of late, I am slowly attempting to immerse into the Singaporean market. Because my new management is Singapore-based, it only seems logical to develop and expand in Singapore. The…

The ever-changing wind has certainly posed to be a true challenge to me. It is not easy to know when you need to make little adjustments and when you know you have to gather all the courage you have to make a real change. Just a quick recap, ever since the bomb was dropped to me by my management at the time I was stationed in Taiwan for my intensive Mandarin course—that they were no longer going to produce my album due to unforeseen circumstances—I was crushed. But I have never been so grateful for my stubbornness because that particular trait happens to go hand in hand with perseverance. I am glad I didn’t give up. I am not going to lie… I was really close to giving up. It was the closest I have ever felt to giving up this line of work and that says a lot because although some may argue I haven’t been in the industry for very long (almost 2 years to date from the first day I stepped into Andrea Fonseka’s office to sit for an interview to join the Miss Universe Malaysia 2013 pageant… that was sometime in June 2012), I have gone through…

Just last weekend, I had the honor of being invited to join the panel of esteemed judges to judge the Jasmine Girl Search. Jasmine magazine is a Chinese fashion, beauty & lifestyle magazine distributed in Malaysia, Singapore and Taiwan.That’s right, you read it. CHINESE! 中文! So not only was it my first time judging a pageant (which is a feat on its own), the entire event was all in Chinese!It was certainly a challenge trying to follow what was going on but I’m glad that for the most part, I actually knew what was going on. Not only that, I prepared several questions all in 中文 to ask the brave beautiful contestants.I’m not going to lie, out of the 5 questions I asked to 5 different contestants, I only understood what half of them were saying. Once they started going slightly bombastic in their wordings, I got pretty lost! Hahaha.Regardless, it’s not always what you say that matters but how you say it. Words can be powerful things but even simple words projected well can still impact people. Hence, I based my scores for the Q&A portion based on how well they projected their words. Having experience in pageantry, I felt…

It has been brought to my attention that recently, my social media has been bombarded with ads and sponsors. Looking back at my recent posts on Instagram, I guess I cannot deny it.  It’s been about almost 2 months since my return from Taiwan and thus far, I am pretty happy with the pace of work I’m going at. Of course, things aren’t going to suddenly pick up after being gone from the industry for 2 months and work was definitely slow at first not to mention a few hiccoughs here and there (a pending entry to be published regarding that when the timing is right), but I am definitely liking the way things are going at the moment. I have a long, long way to go. A ton of objectives to meet and a bunch of goals to achieve. The thought of all my plans and the work I plan to do scares me but with the right team backing me up, I have full confidence pulling through. Today, I want to give you a little insight on what it is to be a “Walking Billboard”. Being a public figure comes hand in hand with being a walking billboard. Just…

I am not perfect nor am I a perfectionist. There’s a difference between striving to be perfect and striving to be great. I do not strive to be perfect. I prefer to work towards the latter. Today’s topic on Dr. Love is one that I find essential to write about. A couple of reasons why I feel this urge to write about this is: Before I begin to address other issues pertaining to love and relationships, I believe it is highly important to know where YOU stand in YOUR life based on YOUR perspective. In other words, as cliché (or narcissistic) as it may sound, it is very important to love yourself first before you can even begin to share love to others The urban world today is so obsessed in striving for perfection and beauty that they have lost sight in what makes things beautiful. Everyone seems to think perfection and beauty come hand in hand and too few people recognize that it’s the imperfections that make things beautiful The urban world is so obsessed in striving for perfection and their idea of beauty that they would go great lengths and questionable sacrifices to achieve it. For instance—the  still…

Love. A magical thing that can be both our ecstasy and our doom. I’m not here to explain about love or to give you the all the answers you are looking for regarding this paradoxical subject. Because that’s really not possible. I just want to clarify that Dr. Love isn’t me. It isn’t anyone. It is something (or technically; someone) I have created as a channel to voice out my opinions about anything and everything to do with the most talk about subject in the world. I mean, I have “Ink Spills of My Heart” to document my career journey in the entertainment world. But I’m not a robot. I don’t just work, work, work and not have a love life. Having a space to vent out relationship related frustrations and to discuss views and opinions about love and relationships can give us all better perspectives too! So I guess the first order of business is probably to discuss my current relationship status. Honestly, I’m quite a private person… contrary to the obvious fact that I’m technically a public figure. I choose what I want people to see and I keep quite a lot of areas in my life private……

At this point in time, I am going through a neither-here-nor-there phase. I’m hoping I won’t be stuck in this phase for too long but in order for great things to happen, sometimes, sacrifices have to be made. In order to make room for the better and improved, I have to let some things go. I have some plans undergoing at this very moment and other than putting my best self forward and not lose focus, all I can do is hope for the very best. A wise man once said, “Do your very best… after that, it’s out of your hands.” So that’s exactly what I’m doing. Right now, other than doing the best I can in all that comes my way and to continuously improve in every area of my work, I keep myself motivated by counting my blessings and my mini victories. Which brings me to the purpose of this entry. I just received news that I was selected to shoot for an upcoming TV Commercial. It’s always great news to hear you get selected for a job especially after a two-month break from the industry and after going for 5-6 castings. However, this time… for me……

After 6-weeks of intensive classes of learning the Mandarin language, I am back in Malaysia. Contrary to what a lot of people are thinking, I did not go to Taiwan to breach the industry there… well, that wasn’t the plan this time around. This time, it was solely grasping the Mandarin language. Baby steps!  I am really quite happy with my progress. I am confident in conversing with a native Chinese speaker now. Of course, I’m not perfect… I still have a funny “外國人” (foreigner) accent and I don’t know every single Chinese word but what can you really expect after a 6-week course? I still have to continuously study to improve… Not an easy task returning to my home ground where distractions are endless. Anyhow, that’s just a brief of my language progression. As for my career progression (which is the main focus of this entry)… now, that’s a different story. It’s not easy to have to write this out for the public but I did promise to be honest and to bear it all out… After all, that is the purpose of my blog. So, while I was in the middle of my language course in Taiwan, I…

A lot of people have been wondering what precisely am I doing in Taipei. I guess the ‘what’ is pretty obvious especially if you’ve been following my other social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Fanpage)… I’m here to learn  中文 (Mandarin).  The ‘why’ is what most people are pondering about.  Hence, today, I want to share with you the WHAT, HOW, and WHY of the first leg of my journey! THE WHAT I am here in Taipei, Taiwan, to study Mandarin intensively. I am currently in my second week of classes and things have been going quite nearly as smooth as I imagined it to be, which is amazing. Absolutely in love with Taiwan… the food, the weather (nice cool 18-24 degrees celsius weather at the moment), the culture, the people… just everything! It’s not home but it’s surely starting to feel like it 🙂 Stoked to be getting in tuned with my Chinese side (about time, Nat… I mean, 棠羚 :p) and receiving the opportunity to pick up a new skill is truly such a blessing. However, I am sacrificing a lot of work back in Malaysia during this stint but that’s a blow my management and I have to absorb…

Things aren’t all as they seem and this is something that is widely understood and experienced yet people always tend to take the surface value of most things and never stop to think that there could be more than meets the eye. Let’s face it. More often than not, there IS more than meets the eye. In the case of my current endeavour towards “stardom”, there’s a good lot who are familiar with the industry constantly reminding me how tough the industry is. Then, there are those seem to think being a celebrity is all about talent and luck. The first lot; reminding me how tough it is, are not wrong. In fact, they are completely spot on. This industry is tough. But then again, when you want to truly succeed in life and achieve life-changing goals, what isn’t tough? Tell me something I don’t know! No really… tell me something I don’t know. I am always a willing listener and I would take any insightful advice in this industry. I have been in the entertainment industry for over a year now and I’ve certainly learned a lot but I am certain there is much more to learn. But truly,…

When I was younger, albeit looking skinny and frail and pale as a ghost, I was quite the athlete! I adored sports and outdoor activities. My main sport was golf. I was a State player for golf when I was 14 through 18 years old. But in between that, I was playing all sorts of sports! 1.    Athletics: I was a 100m sprint runner and represented my high school. Discovered I could do long jump too so represented that too and actually went into State! The funniest though was shot put. Yup, my gangly arms could throw a flippin’ shot put and made it top 3 in my District. Say whaaaat. 2.    Softball: Malaysian high school girls generally sucked in this sport so even if you were half decent, you’d be winning medals…. And thus, we were. Represented school and went straight to State (due to lack of teams in our district) and made it to top 5… out of 6 teams. Yay! Not last! In College, I was invited back into my high school to coach the softball team, which made me a legit softball coach. My main position? Catcher. Tallest catcher probably in history of softball. 3.    Cheerleading:…

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- Author’s note: It’s a post written on a whim due to emo temper issues! Do not mind the language. ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- Here’s what my take is on rumours. They are generally bullshit stories people come up with about other people to make themselves feel better because they cannot seem to mind their own flippin’ business. Here’s what the dictionary defines “rumour”: rumour |ˈruːmə| (USrumor) noun a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth Let’s highlight something pretty key here…. DOUBTFUL truth. That’s right. Doubtful meaning it’s UNLIKELY to be true. Yet, everyone seems to just jump on believing rumours super quickly. Wait! Let me rephrase. Everyone seems to just jump on believing BAD rumours super quickly.  For some ridiculous reason, people absolutely adore believing the worst in other people. If it’s news about something… the worse and more scandalous it is, the quicker people will believe it! Now, let’s get to the fun part. The crap people come up with about me. Mind you, I’ve known this for many, many, many years… but honestly, I’ve never ever bothered defending myself because when rumours are not true, then, there really is nothing to defend about, is there? The…

I was never one who made New Year resolutions simply from the fact that I just saw far too many resolutions being broken. Also, I am careful with setting goals for myself because I know that once I do that, I will do everything I can to reach those goals. Because of this, I think it is important to be careful because you don’t want to end up working on stupid goals. If you are going to spend time and effort, you had better be spending it on something worthwhile! So I had a good think about what sort of goals I wanted to set for myself this year and I came up with a few resolutions! But before that, I think it’s important to have these points in mind when making your resolutions: It can’t be too easy to achieve! Else there really isn’t any point in making a resolution. It has to feel like you’ve put in SIGNIFICANT effort in order to feel like a million dollars when you actually reach your goal. Then, of course, it can’t be TOO difficult else you’d be inclined to give up before you even begin. If there is more than one…

So I have been told that quite a few of you folks have been curious as to what on earth is going on with me right now. Some know very well what I’m up to… but some don’t! So I’ve decided to write a good, thorough (that means loooooong) post to answer all your curious little questions! On the surface, it’s mostly these few things splattered across my social media… Work stuff like TV hosting, modeling, commercials, singing, event appearances…. Some fitness stuff… Some kick-ass foods… And recently, a truckload of travelling (I know, it’s been getting out of hand lately, but to be fair… I did actually plan a few holidays a good year in advance and happened to slot in a few impromptu ones along the way plus a couple of work ones making me seem like a serious jet setter! Which, I guess I kind of am at this point….). So to be fair, it is completely understandable for people to be super confused as to what I am doing (even I get confused sometimes when people ask me what I do!). Because it seems like I’m doing everything. Which… I kind of am. But hear me…

Timing is everything. You can be prepared to meet the right person at the right place but if you’re there during the wrong time, you’ll never meet them. You can be doing the right things and making the right moves but if it isn’t during the right time, you’ll never catch that break. This, amongst a jumble of other things, is one of the biggest concerns I have diving into the performing arts industry. Some of you may know me. Very well. But most, don’t really know me at all. After a long deliberation, I have decided that the time has come and I am now ready to tell my story. Taking the first step is always the hardest. Be it quitting a bad habit, learning a new skill, or doing something as crazy as bearing your heart and soul to the public. It takes a lot of courage to do all these things but once that first step is taken and the waters are tested, and once momentum is built, the progress is exponential. It’s like pushing a rock down a hill. The initial push takes strength and determination. Once the hardest part is over (the pushing—just in case…